My Body Hates Me

If I woke up to this scrawled on my panties,
I would not be the slightest bit surprised.

There are oh so many reasons why the title for this entry is fitting.  My body never cooperates, my immune system is attacking me, my uterus works for shit and apparently it's actively plotting against me.  Let me explain.

So... I manage to get out of the funk my last entry described and we made up our minds to go full force with IVF.  My heart monitor never really caught the really scary palpitations, as they seemed to have stopped, but the few episodes it did catch were just extra beats and nothing to worry about.  They've even stopped since then.  We went to the IVF consult with the RE and they let me know exactly what was going to happen with the cycle and gave me more paperwork than I was expecting.  I was close to the end of my cycle so all I had to do is call them on CD 1 and they'd call in the meds and start the calendar (I'll explain all this in more detail in the next entry).  I figured out how I'll be paying for all this so everything is planned and ready.

So all I had to do was wait.  And wait.  And fucking wait some more.  For some reason, my body has decided to embark on the longest cycle it has ever been on to date.  Ever.  I'm currently on CD 52 and my consult was weeks ago.  The one time... seriously the one time I really, really, really want to start my fucking period... nothing.  The RE gave me a prescription for Prometrium, which is essentially Progesterone.  A 7 day treatment will bring AF right along within a few days after the last dose.  They often use this in lieu of Provera to bring on a period during an anovulatory cycle.  My last dose was Tuesday.  It is now Saturday.  Seriously... fuck my body.

What I'm dreading is that tiny bit of EWCM that I discovered on my 1st day of the Prometrium was a sign of ovulation and the meds won't override my own hormones.  This would mean I likely have a few more days to wait; or worse, more than a week.  All I want to do is move on.  I've no patience for limbo.  Yet, here I sit.  No sign of AF... no calendar... no protocol.